The Weekend Wars: DVR Edition

February 26, 2012 / by / 0 Comment

This Sunday, February 26th, there will be battles fought and a victors awarded; there will be cheers, there will be tears, oh yes battles will be fought (Don’t ask me why that sentence turned semi-poetic).   These battles will not take place in the Amway Center, they are not between Eastern and Western Conferences, they will not be fought in the Theatre Formerly Known As Kodak by men and women in extremely elegant garbs.  Because Sunday at 7PM, the war will be between the NBA All-Star Game and The 84th Academy Awards, but the battles will be fought right in your living room.

How many times has this scenario played out in your home: You just sit down and crack open your Bud/Miller/Coors Light and turn on the game just in-time for your wife/fiancé/girlfriend/sidechick to remind you that the new Real Housewives of insert witty comment here are on and you must change the channel (no matter how many times they show they re-air it the next week).  This can lead to one of several outcomes given to you here in this chart:


As you can see from this chart made up of completely hypothetical situations using totally bogus statistics that 100 out of 100 times if you choose to DVR The All-Star Game, watch The Academy Awards, and then catch the ASG later on your relationship will be better.  And such has been the case in this technological era, where you can watch Billy Crystal tell the same bad jokes for the 7000th time and not miss the through the legs off the backboard in traffic dunk that Blake Griffin has all-but guaranteed to perform on Sunday.  This is the beauty of the DVR, and I am completely confident that it comes just behind children and slightly ahead counseling in the list of things that have saved marriages.  If you don’t have the service I highly, highly recommend it, the monthly fee will be much less than what she will take, trust me.  As for the rest of the weekend, here are my picks:

Rising Stars Challenge (formerly Rookie v Sophomore Game):

Team Shaq, although I like the core that Team Chuck has, Team Shaq has Blake Griffin and Mr All He Does Is Lin himself Jeremy Lin.

Slam Dunk Contest:

Chase Budinger, Novelty Pick

3 Point Shoot Out:

Kevin Love, Gotta show Love the love

All-Star Game:

Western Conference, Simply because they have #THEKOBESYSTEM and the East has LeBron “75 cents” James

Best Picture:

Midnight In Paris, it’s the only one I saw and I am still upset about the “Drive” and “Shame” snubs!

Best Actor in a Leading Role:

I didn’t see any of these films but I’m going to go Brad Pitt because he is WAAAY over-due, again upset about the Michael Fassbender snub.

Best Actress in a Leading Role:

Rooney Mara, again the only movie I have seen, therefore, the only move I can judge.  Apparently I have seen a lot of movies this year, just not any good ones.

Best Actress in a Supporting Role:

Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids was hilarious, a suprise win-win of the DVR what you really want to watch and go see this movie with your girl instead scenario.

Best Actor in a Supporting Role:

LeBron James, BOOM!

Have a great weekend.

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